Wicked Quickies Page 2
The most inconvenient—and also the best possible—time for sex is when you’re running out the door to get to work. Drop everything, keep your clothes on (except in strategic areas), and get to it. As long as you don’t show up at work totally sweaty and disheveled, no one should be the wiser. Just don’t make a habit of sneaking into work fifteen minutes late, or people may begin to suspect why your sweater is rumpled and your buttons are askew.
“One of my favorite things a bout having a quickie just as we’re heading out the door is that any anxiety I have about my workday is forgotten, replaced with fond memories (and lingering scents!) of my morning detour.” –Paul, 33
19: MORNING MAKEOVER
Risqué Level
Doing make-up is a part of the morning routine for many women. You can add a little spice to the ritual by sneaking up behind her and getting frisky. Bend your love over the sink, placing your hands wherever you want them, and telling her you find her absolutely irresistible before cutting right to the chase. Enter her from behind as you cup her breasts and curl your body around hers, burying your face in her hair. With flushed cheeks and a sparkle in her eye, afterward she won’t even need to finish her make-up.
“I was surprised when my husband snuck up behind me and put the moves on me while I was doing my make-up. The fact that we were in front of the mirror made it even hotter. Watching ourselves bring each other to orgasm was incredibly erotic!” –Marisa, 32
20: TAXICAB CONFESSIONS
Risqué Level
If you’re feeling a little frisky and in the mood for a quickie, all you have to do is hail a cab! How’s that for fast service? A little backseat naughtiness in a taxi is a great way to heat things up, and it’s way more fun than watching the meter run.
QUICKIE ETIQUETTE
Most cabdrivers won’t mind too much if you have a quickie in the backseat as long as you don’t put them at risk of being pulled over and ticketed for indecent exposure. For a little extra incentive, slip the driver a generous tip at the beginning of the ride to keep his eyes on the road, and not on the rearview mirror. (For a little more privacy en route, check out Quickie 49: Live It Up in the Limo.)
21: COATROOM CANOODLE
Risqué Level
Volunteer to be the greeters and “coat check couple” at your friend’s dinner party. When the party is at its height and you won’t be missed, slip into the bedroom where the coats are being kept for some erotic, quick action. The pile of down and leather will help conceal you if anyone pops in.
QUICKIE ETIQUETTE
This quickie needs to be timed just right, sometime in the middle of the evening. Make sure not to neglect your coat-fetching duties, or your secret will be exposed.
22: DINER’S DELIGHT
Risqué Level
It would take some courage to just throw down and do each other right in the middle of a diner—you never know who the other patrons might be!—but you can dial down the risk by cuddling up in a booth and saving the actual sex for later. A big flowing skirt can go a long way in concealing a lot of below-the-waist activity. Oversized menus, large napkins, and a well-placed winter coat can also help disguise the fact that you’re working up an appetite for the real meal once you’re alone. Pick an uncrowded time, stick to the back of the restaurant, and don’t forget to tip well.
“I always get really nervous and really excited about doing anything naughty in public, but I’ve found that the right outfit—a loose skirt, an elastic waistband, and no panties—can make the experience that much better. Easy access is the name of the game!” –Claire, 27
23: SEXERCISE SCHTUPP
Risqué Level
Working out is all well and good, but have you made sure to exercise all your muscles today? A little imagination turns that expensive workout equipment into sex furniture. If you keep at those pelvic thrust reps for a while, you’ll be able to skip your regular cardio on that stationary bike. Feeling the burn from sex versus bench-pressing will be so much more fun, too, and you’ll both be satisfied that you’re staying in shape.
QUICKIE HOT TIP
Raising your heart rate—and increasing your breathing and muscle activity before sex—enhances your body’s ability to get turned on, acting as a type of foreplay.
24: THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER
Risqué Level
It’s difficult to get motivated to do unpleasant household chores like cleaning the garage or mowing the lawn, but with some sexy incentive, your household duties will be finished in no time. Create a list of tasks for completion, and then reward yourselves with a quickie as you check items off your list.
“Like any red-blooded man, I hate cleaning, but I love sex, so it’s less difficult to start cleaning when I know there’s a naked reward in the not-so-distant future. Who needs a riding lawn mower when I can get a randy ride from sex?” –James, 34
25: BEACHCOMBER BOOTY
Risqué Level
Go for a slippery yet sun-soaked quickie. Pick a secluded stretch of beach, the one just outside the lifeguard’s range, maybe behind that little outcropping of rocks, to set up camp and get down to business. If you’re comfortable, you can even use a little naughty conversation about the eye candy you’ve been looking at all day to get you started.
QUICKIE HOT TIP
Nothing kills a beach romance like sand in your most tender parts, so make sure you’re lying on a blanket and that you’ve gotten all the sand off your hands before you get started. Make sure to slather on sunscreen as well—getting burned will put a damper on your fire. Keeping baby wipes in your beach bag will be great for a quick cleanup. And if you’re not ready for a public encounter, try a secluded or private beach to bring this down to a level two.
26: MIDNIGHT SNACK
Risqué Level
If your partner is a midnight snacker, why not surprise him with a different type of treat? When you hear footsteps in the kitchen, make a beeline there yourself, and have the whipped cream, chocolate sauce, or honey ready for application and licking removal. Bon appétit!
“My husband is always sneaking down to the kitchen for a latenight snack, even though he knows it’s unhealthy to eat in the middle of the night. When I hear him get out of bed and creep down the hallway, I follow him and pounce on him in the kitchen. Then I give him something else to snack on—me!” –Vanessa, 35
27: ELEVATOR “EMERGENCY”
Risqué Level
A “stuck” elevator is the perfect place for a quickie. Whether you hold the doors open while the elevator is in the basement or pull the emergency switch as it passes between two floors, know that your time is limited. Someone’s bound to need that elevator soon, so get to it! Anyone going up?
QUICKIE HOT TIP
It’s best to do this stunt in an elevator you’re well acquainted with. Nothing spoils a quickie like the fire department showing up to bail you out—naked. Also, beware of security cameras!
28: AQUATIC AROUSAL
Risqué Level
Water, wet and flowing, is sexual in its very essence. Slip in for a dip; any body of water will do—a pool, a bay, a lake. Drop the bottom part of your bathing suit for a little more action, and you’ll both be swooning. This is the most fun— and naughtiest—when accomplished near other people.
QUICKIE HOT TIP
Even though water is wet, it can wash away a woman’s natural vaginal lubrication. However, silicone-based lubes stay wet even when you’re not. If there’s a chance you might engage in erotic aquatic adventures, dab on some lube, and things will slide along with greater ease. Keep in mind that water can also wash away your bathing suit…hold onto it if you don’t want to walk out of the water naked!
29: AFTERNOON DELIGHT
Risqué Level
Mowing the lawn and taking care of the yard make any man all hot and sweaty. If she steps out to water the flowers, watch out: that just might lead to watering her flower. Strip down to nothing in a secluded part of your yard, and get wild in the
freshly cut grass.
“There’s something about nature—even if it’s the well-maintained nature right outside our back door—that just gets me going. Taking my wife right out in our yard just feels primal.” –Andrew, 34
30: OFFICE MEMO
Risqué Level
Interrupt a not-so-important meeting with an important message: the urgent need for a quickie. You can write down your missive, perhaps on a sticky note, but keep it simple, something like “I want you now!” For more adventure, try whispering it. Cup your hand around your mouth for added sensuousness and to make sure eavesdroppers can’t pick up on your plan.
QUICKIE ETIQUETTE
Make sure you’re not interrupting an important call— messing with your paramour’s business is a sure way to get the cold shoulder. If you have to wait for the call to finish up, try locking the office door, sitting on the desk, and starting to strip for some foreplay and visual stimulation!
31: KWIKY CAR WASH
Risqué Level
While supporting a charity car wash might be altruistic, you’ll have more fun with your own X-rated one in your driveway. Grab your partner, and get the car and yourselves wet and soapy, making sure you lather his hose extra nicely, while he details your body with his wet tongue. Or lean her up against the car hood and take her from behind, using the water spray from the hose for extra excitement.
QUICKIE HOT TIP
If your driveway isn’t exactly private, and you don’t want your neighbors to see your slippery fun firsthand, stick to something a little tamer, like a wet T-shirt contest, and then take it inside to finish pimping out the “ride”! (Or for another car wash option, check out Quickie 46: At the Car Wash.)
32: STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
Risqué Level
Whether you’re on your way up to the bedroom for some sexual fun or heading down to your deck for sun and lemonade, take a brief detour on the stairs for quick satisfaction. Use the stairs to create some creative angles that aren’t possible on a flat surface. The landing can give you extra leverage if you need it. The stairs can be great not just for touching those hard-to-reach spots, but also for getting a new perspective on your lover’s body as you look at each other from a new vantage point.
“Fooling around on the stairs really spices things up for my husband and me because it’s like having built-in sex furniture in the house. You just need to pay attention to your balance, which can be both challenging and entertaining.” –Leah, 36
33: SUMMERTIME QUENCHER
Risqué Level
Take time out on a hot summer day to cool down—and heat up—with some ice water by the backyard pool. If you don’t want to take a dip just yet, take turns dripping ice water and ice cubes all over each other’s bodies—and then licking up the mess. A few strategically placed ice cubes (such as in your mouth!) can really send chills down your lover’s spine—or his shaft!
QUICKIE HOT TIP
This also works really well with brightly colored popsicles. Once the colored treats have melted on your lover, trace the sticky trail with your tongue and help clean it all off.
34: QUIET RAPTURE
Risqué Level
Excuse yourselves during a lull in conversation at a dinner party and slip into the hallway to feel each other up. This quickie is made much hotter by the urgency with which you must act, the need to be silent, and the knowledge that while everyone else is being civilized and talking around the table, you’re getting frisky only a few feet away.
QUICKIE ETIQUETTE
This quickie is best accomplished if you make sure you’re not hiding in a hallway that is en route to the bathroom or the kitchen. If you get discovered, you can expect this incident to go down in dinner-party gossip history.
35: HEAVY PETTING
Risqué Level
Sometimes it’s fun to recapture those awkward, fumbling, high school moments with a solid sofa make-out session. Instead of jumping right into the nudity and bump-’n’-grind, spend some time groping and caressing each other with your clothes still on. If it helps you get into the spirit, put a movie on in the background (it could be a naughty flick!) and pretend you’re watching it.
“To spice up a couch session and make it a bit more frantic, sometimes my husband and I say things to each other like, ‘Hurry up. My parents will be home soon.’ Most of the time it just makes us laugh, but it still adds to the fun.” –Laura, 35
36: THE NAUGHTY HAIRBRUSH
Risqué Level
Even a well-groomed woman deserves a spanking sometimes. While you’re at the sink washing up, your man can slip up behind you, run his hands over your bottom, and grab your hairbrush. If you’re the guy trying this and you’re not sure how she’ll react, be sure to make your moves playful, keep a smile on your face, and maintain eye contact in the mirror.
QUICKIE HOT TIP
If you’re into spanking, you can role-play all of the “traditional” disciplinary scenes: teacher and naughty pupil; prison warden and prisoner; or boss and secretary, to name a few. The number and variety of different scenarios is limitless, and having a selection of props and costumes makes the play even more exciting.
37: A SNEAK PREVIEW
Risqué Level
Liven up the slow parts of a movie and revisit furtive highschool trysts with a little bit of hand action. You might start with a playful yawn-and-stretch move to get your arm around her, and then drop your hand farther down her chest. A braver soul might drop that hand into her lap—whoops! As you make your way up her thigh, whisper your dirty thoughts in her ear while keeping one eye on the screen.
QUICKIE ETIQUETTE
Sitting in the back of the theater is a tried-and-true security measure for movie theater nookie, but failing that, a coat over your laps is an excellent way to conceal what you’re up to.
38: THE GREAT OUTDOORS
Risqué Level
The scent of pine and clear mountain air do wonders for awakening the senses, including your erotic ones. Step off the beaten path on your next countryside hike to listen to the sounds of the forest—and each other’s soft moans. The further you go off the trail, the more private you’ll be…the call of the wild indeed.
QUICKIE HOT TIP
All hikers should be at least a bit knowledgeable about local poisonous plants that make their home along the trail, but when in doubt, remain standing. The only souvenir you should leave the woods with is a hot memory, not poison ivy!
39: CORNER POCKET
Risqué Level
Stealthy sex is almost always the most fun. While shooting pool at the local dive bar, your man can get behind to help you with your technique. This kind of close encounter will rev you up, and waiting in a corner for the next shot is where you can get in some serious action. You probably aren’t going to be able to finish your erotic game, but you never know. Those dark, dank corners are definitely good for something.
“Having my boyfriend get behind me and get up close and personal while I’m trying to aim my pool cue doesn’t exactly do wonders for my aim and concentration, but feeling his excitement against my legs really gets me going.” –Lauren, 28
40: KING OF THE WORLD
Risqué Level
Ships ahoy! Boats were made for seafaring lovers. Let the gentle rocking of the boat nudge your bodies closer and closer together as the salty air awakens your senses. String bikinis are made for easy access, but there’s something rugged about wearing only a life jacket. Remember, it’s not the size of the yacht, but the motion of the ocean!
QUICKIE HOT TIP
A little creativity and knowledge of rigging and knots will have you all tied up and ready for a naughty nautical adventure.
41: TRUCKIN’
Risqué Level
One of the best places for romance is under the stars! Cruise to a favorite make-out spot, climb into the bed of your pickup truck, and give it your all. With a little planning ahead, you’ll have a few blankets to make you a bit more comfortable. B
ut since the idea is to make it fast and furious, a little discomfort won’t hurt you; it’ll just motivate you to get the job done. The same goes for weather—it’ll be more fun in the summer, but plummeting temperatures can inspire you to make your own heat.